Friday, December 25, 2009

Dear Diary: Day 1

It was unusually quiet this morning. I woke up feeling strangely uneasy. I got out of my bed and was stretching out my limbs, stiff from sleeping on the wool carpet on the floor, and I noticed she was still sitting on her rocking chair. The book she was reading was still laying on her lap, her glasses still hanging on her nose. Her head was tilted forward, she had fallen asleep, I thought.
I went to her, and jumped on her lap. The book she held feel to the floor with a thud. She remained oddly still.
I moved towards her face and sniffed her breath. There was no warmth, only the stale scent of her rose perfume. I could only sniff traces of her breath, it was not there. I licked her face, she should be up by now. She did not respond. Her wrinkled face had a marble expression.
I went to the kitchen, to the corner where my food was placed. My plate was empty. My water bowl barely had a few drops left in it, and I was really thirsty. I went back to my corner in the living room and started grooming myself, I will have to wait for her to wake up, I thought.
The atmosphere of the house was depressing, the curtains were still covering the windows, shielding the bright sun rays from entering the rooms. She was supposed to be preparing breakfast by now.
I went back to her rocking chair, she was still sitting in the same position, cold as rock. I jumped onto her lap again.
"Wake up!" I screamed in her face. No response.
"I'm hungry!" She did not even move.
The phone started to ring. That should wake her up, I thought. But it kept ringing, and she kept her same marble expression, not moving an inch.

It was later that afternoon when the phone rang again. I was having my usual nap. The sound woke me up, I had forgotten about my hunger, and I lay there on my pillow, waiting for her to get up and answer the ringing phone.
I went back to where the rocking chair was, in the corner of the living room, by the fireplace. Nothing has changed since this morning. I sensed something strange. Her presence was no longer felt, yet she was still sitting on her chair, unmoved. Her elbows resting on the arms of the chair, her legs tucked beneath her favorite plaid blanket, and her eyes, closed in the most peaceful way. But I could not feel her. I called to her again, maybe my calls would bring her back, maybe she has gone out to run some errands, but she is still here! it was extremely confusing. I called her, my voice was louder that usual.
She loves it, when I talk to her. She bends down and kisses me, talks to me with the most gentle voice and caresses me. Somehow that person was no longer present in the room.

It was getting cold, and I was experiencing a most unexpected sensation. My heart was making a loud sound, like an ancient rhythm. I felt it vibrating inside my chest. My limbs were becoming stiff.
I felt alone, I felt like I have been abandoned. She loves me! Why would she leave me!
The light was starting to disappear from behind the curtains, it was getting intensely cold. I wanted to move towards her, go to her. She comforts me and provides warmth, but something was holding me back.
I curled in a corner of the room, shivering, and feel asleep. Something inside me was telling me that things will never be the same after today.

**** To be continued, inshallah*****


Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Oh my, we think da lady haf gone to da bridge. We sure hope someone comes to find you soon!

Mariam said...

Thank you Zippy, Sadie and Speedy!! I hope so too!!

Fatima said...

I hadn't read the title of your blog and I didn't realise that you were referring to a cat until I scrolled up again and read the heading, what a unique idea! I loved it, you have talent, that is very obvious! I am looking forward to the next entry =)

Mariam said...

Thank you Fatima! Wish me luck on writing the second chapter! I'm having a block at the moment :S

Fatima said...

Those ideas will come flowing in inshAllah!

Anonymous said...

neat blog

Anonymous said...

.... things will never be the same after today....
this is QAYB...Allah alone knows QAYB.

Mariam said...

Hamid, I'm not exactly sure what you mean by your comment.

Anonymous said...

2:3 Who believe in the (QAYB)Unseen, are steadfast in prayer, and spend out of what We have provided for them...
The second condition for obtaining guidance from the Qur'an is that one must believe in the "unseen" -- those realities which cannot be perceived by the senses and which do not come within human experience and observation, e.g. the essence and attributes of Allah, Angels, Revelation, Heaven, Hell, etc. These things must be taken on trust from the experts (Prophets) just as we do in many cases in the physical world. Therefore, only such a person, who believes in the "unseen", can benefit from the Guidance of the Qur'an. As for the one who believes only in those things which can be seen, tasted and smelt, or can be measured and weighed, cannot get any guidance from this Book.

Mariam said...

Hamid, I do believe in the unseen, I do believe that only Allah knows what has been, what will be, and what hasn't been, if happened.. how will it be.

I don't understand what made you assume that I don't believe in that.

Me writing "I have a 'feeling' that things will not be the same" which is phrased as "something was telling me" (and they both mean the same thing) does NOT mean that I KNOW what will happen. It means that I have a FEELING. As in "it is cloudy today, I have a feeling it may rain"

Therefore I'm not denying that the "knowledge" of things to be is only, and only to Allah.

You misread my words.

Anonymous said...

i don't claim that you didn't believe qayb.
your writing "I have a 'feeling' that things will not be the same' isn't a supposition. this is a phrase about the future. it didn't happen yet. perhaps it happens or not. we never know future. we never know QAYB.

"it is cloudy today, I have a feeling it may rain"....
this sentence's tense is the simple present tense .

..things will never be the same after today...
this sentence's tense is future tense.
you could say ' some things can be not the same in my life as regards backward.

i used future tense..
for example:
tomorrow it will be rainy, inshaallah..
if Allah wills it, it will be rainy. i don't know tomorrow weather will rainy or not.
Allah knows tomorrow weather will rainy or not. Allah knows everything.

Abir Ibrahim said...

You are very creative sista' But are you referring to yourself as the Canadian girl living in Canada or the cat? lol just confused hahaha. I love it. Keep blogging and I will keep stalking ;)

Mariam said...

Hamid, I'm sorry but you're contradicting yourself.
"It MAY rain" in the future, not now, so that makes it "in the future".
Anyway.. I don't really know what we're discussing here.

lol Abir!
The Canadian girl is me.. (the writer of the story) and this is the diary of a cat :D
Thanks for your comment :)

Anonymous said...

no..i am not contradiction my self. you never find this expression in my posts. named it may rain .
but 'it may rain or it can be rain' is a supposition or forecast. there is no certainty in this expression. 'tomorrow weather will be rainy' is the sentence of future tense.
i just wanted mention between forecast about the future and giving new about the future. we never know future. and we never give a new about the future.
i just wanted to mention that we should say inshaallah when we wanted to do something.

Mariam said...

There is also no certainty in the expression "I have a feeling things will never be the same".
I have made my point of view clear, and I do not wish to discuss this issue any further. If you did not understand, then it's your problem.

Thank you.

Anonymous said...

i understand you.
but i hope you understand me correctly.
there is a certainty in your expression that "I have a feeling things will never be the same...
i don't know you will live or not.
i don't know what will happen after one minute...
and you have a feeling thing.
we have a feeling good and bad thing. Satan give a waswasa (whispers from shaytan) to us. be careful against to Satan.
my intention is not discuss you..
anyway,i hope that Satan doesn't deceive us.

Sy's Prints said...

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ArtForEarth said...

Beautifully written. I really like the feelings your presented. Wonderful job! Keep writing.